Green Bay, WI (LOL)
Ted Thompson, dressed comfortably in his green and gold footie pajamas, reclined in his easy chair, and explained to this ink stained wretch how he continues to pull off move after amazing move this season. "It's just knowing the league. Understanding the practice squads. Trusting you previous draft boards. And of course, asking Justin if they are friends of his."
Whatever the methodology, everything seems to be working in the NFL's smallest city. Green Bay continues to be the laughingst, er, envy, of the league, as they added Howard Green, a really fat defensive lineman, and Erik Walden, another unknown linebacker, this time not from Austin Peay, but from just down the road at Middle Tennessee State. Said GMTT, "I've always wanted a player from Middle Tennessee State. And now we have one. Justin used to hang out with him at the local ink parlor, so it seems like a good pickup. Plus he's really ripped, and has several angry, impressive tats."
When asked about the 4,320 pound Green, GMTT said, "yeah, he's a little overweight, but we think he can still play. We're a little concerned about the load balance on the flight, but we'll figure it out. He'll probably have to sit in the front right corner with no one around him, and then we'll double buckle some of the D-backs in the middle left part of the plane, something like that."
The starting defensive linemen against the Jets tomorrow looks like it will be Green, C.J. Wilson, and B.J. Raji. Expect LaDanien Tomlinson and Shon (his mom must have been a bad spellerer) Green to each rack up about a buck fitty. $247,500 per game Cullen Jenkins will probably sit this one out because "we're going to get the shit beat of us anyway. What the hell's the point?"
Well said Cullen, well said.
Look for riveting ANAL-ysis after the game!
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