Winter Park, MN (TRUE)
Brent Farve, the awful 41-year old turnover machine, broke two bones in his left ankle in last night's loss to our beloved Green Bay Packers, but says he will play on Sunday against the Patriots.
"Oh yeah, I'll play," said the beautiful Deanna Farve's husband. "It's just a couple of broken bones, no big deal."
A bigger issue may be the recently discovered skull fracture. Apparently Deanna really got him with a big frying pan upside the head (see photo), so in addition to the broken bones in the ankle, he's got a busted up melon to match.
"Yeah, that kinda hurts too. Deanna didn't like it much that I texted my wiener to that Jets hottie. I don't know what the big deal was, but you know women."
Asked if he would play Farve if healthy, soon-to-be-unemployed coach Brad Childress said "probably." "He gives is our best chance to win. If it weren't for his 14 turnovers (10 picks, 4 lost fumbles) in 6 games, we would be 6-0 instead of 2-4. I like him. I really do."
We here at Packer ANAL-ysis have run the numbers for you, our discriminating (there I said it) reader, and at just over $1MM per game, Farve has his cost per turnover down to approximately $428,571.42 per incident. Said Team Owner Zygi Wolf, "we would of course prefer he not turn it over so much, and keep costing us ballgames, but you do have to admit, we are getting excellent value for each turnover. If he only had a few, like last year, why the cost would be astronomical!"
Excellent point. Brent's cost per turnover is very close to Cullen Jenkins cost per tackle. Eerily close. Interesting.
--PP
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