Ashwaubenon, WI. (TRUE)
Brad Jones, Greenbush's 2nd year Outside Backer, was put on Injured Reserve today, apparently becasue he has an injury. Jones, who played one of his best games Sunday night against the Evil Empire, even breaking two bones in Brent Farve's left ankle in the process, was confused, though thrilled, with the designation. "It's surreal really. I'm not hurt or anything, but I think Nicky the B (LB Nick Barnett) put in a good word for me."
Jones is looking forward to clubbing in Manhattan this Saturday night with the IR Squad, and will be heading to the tailor tomorrow to invest in some "new threads." "Probably a haircut too."
To replace Jones on the real team, not to mention Mike Neal and Brady Poppinga, Ted Thompson (see photo), still resplendent in ihis silver cape (see photo), made some HUGE moves. "We added two linebackers, Matt Wilhelm and Diyral Briggs. One's a black guy (see photo). We also had to say goodbye to our (Justin and I) dear friend Maurice Simpkins (see photo). You might recall we had 'Mo' over to the house not long ago, and well, he now knows too much. So we had to put him out on the street." Simpkins was last seen hitchhiking on Ashland Avenue trying to get home to South Carolina (discerning ANAL-ysis readers recall he tried to play collegiately at CFC, Coastal Frickin' Carolina).
Asked who might start in place of Jones, GMTT answered, "either Frank Zombo--the great Zomboni--, or we might just go with 10 on defense. I'll check with the Dominator and see, but he'd probably rather go with ten than play with the damaged Atari system."
Stay tuned for more fine ANAL-ysis as we try to keep up with all of TT's moves.
Thanks to Trixi for giving Brad Jones a lapdance to get this information even before the Urinal Sentinel had it.
--PP
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