Green Bay, WI (LOL)
Justin Harrell, Green Bay's hustling defensive lineman, is trying to enjoy his final month on the IR Party Squad. Realizing the end is near, the Big Guy is really taking advantage of the per diem, and has "sort of" let himself go.
Justin, pictured here, had a playing (huh? he played?) weight of "about 3 hundy", but in his 3rd and final stint on IR, now weighs in at about "four-fitty."
With 66 players on the current roster (53 on the real team, and 13 collecting "welfare on crutches"), and with the hopeful return of Johnny "codeine" Jolly and another D Lineman draft pick, the Big Guy realizes he faces a future of flabby uncertainty.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is it. The last 3 years on IR have been a dream come true, but unlike real welfare, all good things must come to an end. Getting injured (?) has really been a blessing, and I can't thank the medical staff enough for believing me (not believing "in me," but believing me, as in "Doc, I hurt my knee blocking for an extra point. I mean my shoulder. I mean...")
When asked about his future plans, the tenacious, fierce, determined, intimidating Harrell said, "well, I'm sure Ted (reclusive GMTT) and I will talk more about after the season is over. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know it won't require any of those awful practices and drills!"
Packer ANAL-ysis wishes the Big Guy nothing but the best. This fine (?) publication won't be the same without him, that's for sure.
--PP
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