Anthony Smith Joins IR Party Squad, Finally!!!!!

Green Bay, WI (TRUE)

Anthony Smith (see photo) has joined the largest, funnest, baddest IR Squad in the NFL, and not a moment too soon.

"I've been trying to get on this since the Manhattan Project (see photos)," said Smith, referring to the all nighter the boyz pulled in all those great clubs during the JETS weekend. "I tweaked my knee, hurt a finger, banged up my ribs (most of it on purpose), but I just couldn't get promoted. Then when they kept writing in the Urinal how I was 'limited' in practice, and crap like that, then things started to pick up. I can't wait to see the Mansion (see photos). I heard there just wearing the butler out!!!"

Defensive Backs Coach Joe Whitt delivered the news on Saturday. "He called me into his office, and got all teary-eyed and shit, said it was really a hard decision, but that he had to put me on IR. I faked a tear or two, told him I understand, and once I was out the door tweeted to all the sexy ladies out there that I'm finally free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at last."

Now that the Packers have blown the Playoffs with a series of quality losses to the Redskins, Dolphins, Bears, and Lions, things are really picking up on the IR Party Squad as the season (for the real players) was supposed to last at least two more weeks.

"We thought we were going to be collecting checks and partying our asses off till at least mid January, but now our outings have to be compressed into a shorter timeframe," said IR Team Leader Nick 'Nicky the B' Barnett (see photos). "We've got one more outing to the Jewelry Center (see logo) at 74th & Layton in Greenfield (see map) (www.shoptjc.com), a visit to On The Border for their Christmas gala with the PA ladies, and one or two more charity visits where we have to pretend like we care for an hour or two." Added newcomer Brandon Chillar (B-Chill), "we had some HUGE plans for the 1st round bye week, but those real player assholes had to go ruin everything!"

Asked what those "HUGE plans" called for, Carol Burnett and J-Mike were coy. "We're trying to re-schedule, and don't want to mess things up."

Justin Harrell (see photo), the hustling playmaking Defensive Lineman, realizing his final daze on IR are ending two weeks shorter than expected, was seen sobbing in the corner of the Mansion's Great Room, and was unavailable for commment.

--PP