Our Beloveds Cutlerized the squad from Chicago 10-23, as Jarrod or Jarrett or something or other Bush didn't play a single down on defense. "I was bound and determined not to play him," said the Dominator, Defensive Coordinator Dom Capers. "Even if we were down to our last guy, I wasn't going to put him in. I would have just played with ten."
In other words, the 24-car was stuck in neutral with no wheels.
When asked to comment, Bush said he agreed with the coach's decision. "I'm not very fast, and I don't tackle particularly well. I'm not all that good against the run, and I'm a bit unsure of myself in pass coverage. I lack confidence in space, and I don't really understand all those signal thingees the guys are screaming and gesturing. I'm not great covering crossing patterns, and I'm not a fan of the vertical go routes. I'm a bit scared of the size of the Tight Ends, and I am in awe of the speed of the Wide Receivers. I think I can cover the guys in the slot, but then I can't, and I usually just end up grabbing them. So I guess I agree with Coach not to play me even if we are down to ten guys."
A distraught M.D. Jennings could not be reached for comment. Probably at an OB-GYN meeting with a girl or something.
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